It's Baaaaack...

sorry, since my life is boring....very very very boring..and i don't have any " i called the wrong number and talked to the girl for like 15 minutes" stories..here's some funnies from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart..enjoy

Jon Stewart: [Bill O'Reilly accused The Daily Show of being part of the war on Christmas] And let me say to you, Bill O'Reilly, and the entire O'Reilly clan, "Feliz Navidad." Although I'm sure you're concerned that *that's* getting too prevalent in this country, as well.

[after discussing Bill O'Reilly's one-year-out-of-date, presumably sarcastic "Merry Christmas, Jon Stewart!"]
Jon Stewart: You know what? It's okay, if Bill O'Reilly needs to have an enemy, needs to feel persecuted, you know what? Here's my Kwanzaa gift to him. Are you ready? All right.
[holiday overlay frame fades in]
Jon Stewart: I'm your enemy, make me your enemy. I, Jon Stewart... hate Christmas. Christians! Jews- morality. And I will not rest, until every year, families gather to spend December 25th together... at Osama's homobortionpot'n'commiejizzporium.
[audience laughs and cheers]


Ed Helms: Jon, I'm being told Whittington's condition has now been upgraded from "stable" to "stable but still shot in the face by the vice president." It's good news really.


Jon Stewart: [on Vice President Dick Cheney's shooting victim Harry Whittington heart attack] I am downgrading the story from "incredibly hilarious" to "still funny but a little sad".

Jon Stewart: I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: Tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.
Jon Stewart: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?
Rob Corddry: In a post-9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Jon Stewart: How powerful a man do you have to be to shoot someone in the face and have that guy say "my bad"?